Bug Inspector

All the Purple Ranch Hands have "Titles" on the farm and one of my many titles at Purple Ranch is "Bug Inspector". I'm sure most people would think this is because I have a degree in entomology; oh contraire. Personally I don't like bugs, rodents, or things that go bump in the night. The reason that I have this dubious title is because if there is a bug on the 8 acres called Purple Ranch, it will find me. I don't know how this happens, but every bee or fire ant hunts me down to sting me if at all possible. For those of you who aren't from the Great State of Texas, we have these awesome insects that come straight from Satan called fire ants. They serve absolutely no purpose on Earth except to make people's lives miserable. They build large mounds where ever they choose to and if you disturb them, they bite you immediately. These bites aren't like a mosquito, but more like a lightning bolt of pain. You are now saying to yourself.....really, a little bitty ant? Oh yes, trust me, when it bit me on the nose, I knew within a nano second what it was due to the shear pain it inflicted on my face! I mean honestly have you ever known anyone to get bit by a fire ant on their nose? Now how did I do this? I was mowing the yard around Purple Ranch and I leaned down to move a potted plant. The ant leaped a 1000 times its size in my direction and bit me on the nose. Really. That's my story and I'm sticking to it....... Got Lavender?