On March 25th, one of the beloved Ranch Hands passed on: Miss Amanda May II, a.k.a. Mandy Puppy. She was put to rest on Purple Ranch among her many friends and Mommy. We buried her with her blue blanket that she loved to curl under, her trademark blue collar and leash, her UT collar and leash, many bones, and especially her tennis balls. We all tossed a tennis ball into her grave out of respect for her and what she enjoyed the most......we gave her a 21 ball salute!She was born on January 11, 1999 in Tyler, Texas and came to live with me exactly 9 years ago when she was only 14 weeks old. We instantly fell in love with each other and the rest is history. The photo above was taken on Easter Sunday, two days before she died. She was still so full of life, but unfortunately cancer had already taken its toll on her body. It happened very quickly and Dr. Murphy and Dr. Tate at City Vet did everything they could to save her and I will be forever grateful to them for that.
I am just now understanding how Mandy Puppy effected those around her. She was such a large part of my life and I took her everywhere with me. In doing such, she became an extension of me. She went to the store (loved getting those cookies at PetSmart), Bible Study, the gym, on roadtrips, to church activities, and especially to Purple Ranch. She loved to run around and be free to chase tennis balls (I would call her tennis balls "Mandy Crack"), squirrels, bees, whatever she could play with. The photo here was her just a few weeks ago, chasing a ball at Purple Ranch. She would do this for hours until you wore out, not her. Below you see a photo of her staring at her ball. She would do this until you played with her....never losing eye contact with the ball. She had amazing concentration.
Mandy didn't know she was a dog; she really thought she was a person. She cried when I cried and then did her best to cheer me up. She was happy when I was happy. She loved being with her Mommy, but most of all she loved being around people that would play ball with her. Over the last several years, one of her best friends was Brian. Brian was my life saver. Due to my job, I have to travel a lot and Brian's home became Mandy Puppy's other home. I used to tease him that when he was in the room, Mandy would forget who her Mommy was because all she could think about was how Brian would play ball with her, but she was always happy to see me come home from a trip.
The hardest part of the last few days, is that she isn't with me and I feel very alone. She isn't around to follow me from room to room; to sit at my tub and wait for me to get dressed in the morning or to go to bed. She never forgot that she needed to take care of her Mommy at all times; she was my protector. Of course, I thought I was hers, so it all worked out. I have often said that I gave birth to her....the front legs were easy to get out, it was her back legs that were the toughest! She had my big brown eyes and big feet. As I highlighted my hair blond, many people thought I looked even more like her. Often people would comment on how thin she was. I would say, "fat puppy, fat mommy, skinny puppy, skinny mommy". We would walk up to the gym almost every day. The walk was really for her, not for me, but I never told her that. As I worked out, she would watch me through the window to make sure that I was ok. I tried to work out yesterday and couldn't....I kept looking out the window to see her watching and she wasn't there. Needlesstosay, I wasn't very productive.
I have always called her my "miracle puppy" because she did many things that other dogs would not have survived. When she was 15 months old, she ran off a 25 foot cliff and fell onto rocks below directly on her side. She jumped up, shook it off and ran into the creek bed. Not a scratch on her. When she was 3 years old, she and I were training for a marathon, she twisted out of her collar and ran straight into a moving vehicle. She shook her head and kept going. Later that year she suffered from heat stroke (because Mommy was really stupid and had her run 8 miles with me in the Texas sun). I hydrated her and cooled her off. It was touch and go, but she shook that off as well. Also she 
ran away numerous times over the years but always made her way home. The scariest one was when she was 4 years old and she got out of the backyard a few days after we moved into a new home. She was very smart and typically a fence couldn't hold her if there was a lock she could figure out, she would. She escaped and went on a great adventure for 4 hours. I was panic stricken and even called the police. Eventually she sniffed out the house we had just moved out of. She was excited to see us; very tired, but safe. What I didn’t mention is that she crossed a 4 lane highway during the process!
I know that time heals all wounds, but a large piece of me died this week when Mandy Puppy died and it will take a very long time to heal from this. I thank all of my friends and family for their love and support and the many tissues and hugs they have provided. If Mandy Puppy touched your life in any way, please post a comment as I would really like to remember how my daughter touched the lives around her.Rest in peace Mandy Puppy. I miss you and love you very much.
25 comments:
Hey Woman:
I just wanted to post a few of the many happy memories I had with Mandy.
I will always miss seeing her face through your front door and her loud bark of welcome on our Bible study nights. She was forever happy to see anyone who would stop long enough to give her a little attention.
She had the best concentration of any dog I have ever seen. On Bible study nights in the summer we would sit in the living room overlooking the deck with the back door open. She would bring a soggy tennis ball to the door and drop it just inside the door and then stare at it. She would not stop staring at it until you threw the ball for her to catch.
Jan had a plastic orange contraption that she used to pick up the soggy ball and throw it. Since I had never seen one of those newfangled dog tools I really didn't understand how it worked. I figured out how to pick up the ball with it but it took a special flick of the wrist to throw it so the ball would release. The first time I tried it I threw it over the fence. Needless to say my ball throwing privileges were taken away until I took Ball Throwing 101.
Mandy was a wonderful dog who had tireless energy when it came to chasing balls. She loved to dig up the Mexican heather that Jan planted in the bed in the back yard.
I will miss our many walks around the neighborhood. Several years ago we went on a walk and found a puppy. He fell in love with Mandy and started following us on our walk. Since he didn't have a collar we decided to pick him up and carry him back to the house. Jan posted signs around the neighborhood, but in the meantime he got the opportunity to stay with Mandy. When Mandy would get enough of his antics and nipping at her ears, she would lay him out with one big paw.
I will forever miss Mandy. She was the most gentle dog and she had the softest, sweetest eyes. Purple Ranch will not be the same without her. She will however, always keep watch over the fields of lavender on the farm. We will never forget her and a part of her will always stay in our memories of the farm.
Jan,
As you know one of my strengths is empathy. As you and I have talked about in the past, that is a good thing but it can also be hard because when you have empathy you are able to put yourself in another person's place and feel some of the things they feel. I am heartbroken at Mandy's passing and she will be forever missed.
Love you,
Bren
Jan,
I can feel your pain and have a lump in my throat reading about Mandy. I understand how you feel and what you're going through. As you know, Stranger (my 20 year old cat) is my baby and I don't know what I will do without him. He's a great companion and I can't imagine my life without him. I know you feel the same way about Mandy Puppy. I wish I could bring you some comfort but I know it's hard and I know you're going to have those moments where you just need to cry. So, know that I am here and that I understand. When you need to cry, go ahead and cry and then look up to heaven and you'll see Mandy's happy little face smiling back (or barking or running after a ball) at you. Treasure the memories and time that God gave you & Mandy.
Love you,
Janet
Sweetie, I am SO sorry!!! I know how it feels to lose a sweet puppy like Mandy, so I am crying here as I type! I still have all of my animals with me since we had no where special to lay them to rest. I will be doing the same very shortly for my Sebastian as well.
Alexis
Dearest Jan,
I understand your sorrow...and just yesterday mowing my folks' lawn found myself most naturally speaking to my pups buried along their backyard Wall of Fame, but with that said, what wells up in my heart and spirit right now falls into the remembrance of Jesus telling some guys that they are greatly misstaken. God is not the God of the dead, but of the living. I can only imagine how much fun Mandy Puppy is having right now in her own field in glory. As much as scripture speaks of lambs and lions and other animals lying in harmony in the world to come, you cannot possibly persuade me to believe in a heaven where our beloved Mandy Puppy won't be waiting poised at the door for your arrival in a few brief moments. Selfishly, I hope I'm in the same neighborhood... because I think you're good company.
Sorry I couldn't figure out the blog thing...but I'm here for you.
Bless you.
Randy
Jan,
I am sitting here in tears....I am so SORRY about the loss of Mandy Puppy. Of course, we know the Lord loves us through our Pets...they are truly four legs of God's pure love. They love us when we are being ugly, under the weather, depressed, not fun to be around, yet, our puppies love us ridiculously for the person they see us to be. They do think we are more than we think ourselves to be...Our puppies believe in us when all is falling around our ears. ...and they never fail to show us how much we mean to them. Yes, Jan, Mandy Puppy had a fabulous life as Jan's daughter....playing with tennis balls, exploring the neighborhood, but mostly, just hanging out with Mom. Your life will never be the same without sweet Mandy Puppy...but YOU meant so much to her....You were her protector, her leader, her guide, and in the final days, her comforter. What a sweet shared relationship. I thank God for the years you and Mandy had....She will never be forgotten or replaced...just remembered in the photo album of your heart. Jan , you are better for having known Mandy puppy...that's what the Lord wants us to know about his domesticated animal friends in our lives...we CAN be better people because we shared a love relationship in the simplest part of our lives.
Jan, may Mandy's love be with you always,
Judi
Jan:
It's obvious that Mandy touched your life in penetrating and lasting ways. That's the beauty and tragedy our our humanity. We're vulnerable. I'm sure that if Mandy could have talked, she would have made sure you knew that your love for her was equally returned. You've made her life meaningful and her death something to mourn. It sounds like you were both the beneficiaries much good fortune in finding in each other. Your story and love are inspiring. Thank you for sharing your grief.
Not in anyway to take away from your grief, but just two weeks ago, my sister lost her husband in a tragic car accident. He was killed on his way to work when a Waste Management truck tire flew off the truck and struck him while he was driving 65 mph on the interstate. A complete tragedy for everyone involved (including his 4 children). I've come to appreciate the value of suffering in this world. God has made suffering possible to keep us close to Him. Without suffering, we would feel invincible and forget our need to have Him in our lives. Despite the fact that suffering is awful, I know it has a place in our lives and for that, I'm grateful.
My very best to you, my friend, at this difficult time. I will be thinking of you.
Love, John Stack
Jan,
I am very sorry to hear about Mandy's passing. When I first met Mandy, I was intimidated by her size. But after a few minutes, I realized that she was a Gentle Giant. She was sweet, loyal and beautiful. She would always anticipate your return home by the sound of your car and wait eagerly by the window. As painful as the loss that you are experiencing, you can rest assured that Mandy enjoyed a life full of love.
Hien
Both Michael and I were so saddened to get your email. We are so, so, sorry, Jan. We know how inexpressibly close you were to her, and she to you. Our thoughts are with you at this tragic time. We'll hold on to the memories of Michael wrestling with her in your condo back during the SOM days. That and all the trail runs we did with her as our guide (remember hiking sleeping giant? seems a lifetime ago) will always be memories we cherish with both of you.
Be well and know our hearts are with you.
Sheena
Hey Jan,
I feel like I should know you even though we have never met. I did however know Miss Mandy. She actually loved coming to her Aunt Kimmy's house. You see...I had a pool and there was nothing she liked more than getting those silly tennis balls out of my pool!! She has been to my house off and on for the last year. She actually got to swim in my pool before my kids!! Brian used to bring her over and her endless supply of energy never ceased to amaze me! Her new friends, Daisy and Dexter couldn't figure her out either. Of course she out weighed them by about 70 lbs, but they never could figure out why she would jump in the pool ON PURPOSE!
They all played well together and I always loved having her over. We automatically included her as one of the family.
When Brian had his surgery, I actually kept her, along with Toby and Abby, as well as my own. Talk about a dog party!!! I thought it was a kennel!!! 5 dogs!!! They did however have a great time with each other! I got a kick out of the fact that Mandy and Daisy (my whopping 5 lb. Maltese) Thought they HAD to be inside!! What a couple of Princesses I thought! Neither one had any idea that they belonged to the canine family!!
She was truly a special girl and it breaks my heart that she's gone. My kids were very upset to hear the news as well.
My heart aches for you. I lost a furry baby too, one that will forever hold a special place in my heart. I still get choked up thinking about him. He was my "Mandy". It's been 5 years and I can tell you that it does get better with time, but I know first hand the pain and loneliness you are feeling.
Hang in there!!! I believe we will see them again some day. Mandy will be waiting for you with that soggy ole tennis ball and hopefully she will have made friends with my Fritzi!!
Hope to meet you soon!
Kimberly (Michelle's Sister)
Dear Jan,
I am so sorry to hear about Mandy!...was praying and wishing that she would get better for you! But it was her time to go. Maureen and I will be missing her very much, as she was a part of our group on Sundays. She was so cute and well behaved, so you should be very proud of her. Since, you will be remembering her in your heart, forever, her spirit remains with you. I hope that the love that surrounds you, will be a comfort to you at this time.
Love,
Lisa
dearest Jan: My heart and eyes cried at your news. I know so wellwhat wonderful companions and near-people that ourdogs and other animals can be. Their unconditionallove is a blessing that only animal lovers canexperience. Mandy was one of the very specialdog-humans and I feel your loss. When Chalupa's timecomes - I know the void that I will experience onemore time in my lifetime. Each passing takes a littlemore away with it......but not to have had them in ourlives would have been a travesty(not sure I spelledthat right, but you get the message). Know that I keep you and your Mom in my prayers. Maythe fun times that you best remember replace that tugat your heart and the knot in your stomach as the dayscontinue on. Keep a smile on your face, even throughthe tears, and feel the warmth of your memories. Love you lots and hope that all is well. xoxoxo - dana
Jan - I am so sorry to hear this. Pets are a true blessing and give so much to our lives. I will be thinking of you as you adjust to her being gone. Hang in there, dear friend!
Holly
Jan - although I didnt have the pleasure of meeting Ms. Mandy Puppy; it was obvious she was the apple of your eye :):)
Just know she is up in heaven barking down to you, letting you know she wonderful & when the time comes, she'll be there at the gate to great you with, of course, a tennis ball in hand.
Lots of love~
Princess
Jan,
I am so sorry to hear about Mandy. I know how much she meant to you. I can only imagine how lonely and awkward you feel without her presence. You gave her so much love and a great life. Always admired you for that.
Cheryl
Hey honey - I heard about Mandy Puppy. I'm SO sorry, my heart grieves with you for your loss.
If you want company on Thursday evening or this weekend, let me know.....
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
What God has prepared for us is wonderful beyond comprehension. HE gave us animals who love us and remind us of HIS unfailing love for us..... You loved Mandy Puppy as much as you could while she was here and when you get to Heaven, you'll see and understand that everything worked out perfectly regarding your blond headed, carpet ruining, hair shedding, ball chasing, 4-legged, brown-eyed baby girl.... we'll all miss her.
((hugs))
caro
Hi, Jan -- I'm so sorry for your loss of a wonderful friend andcompanion, a precious loved one of 9 years. My heart goes out to you; myprayers are with you and Mandy. Hugs, Kathleen
I miss Mandy terribly, but I'm grateful for all the time I was able to spend with her. Following is the epilogue to the Kinky Friedman novel 'Elvis, Jesus, and Coca Cola'. It's about a cat he had, but the sentiment is one that applies to all who have lost a pet and irreplaceable friend:
EPILOGUE
On January 4, 1993, the cat in this book and the books that preceded it was put to sleep in Kerrville, Texas, by Dr. W.H. Hoegemeyer and myself. Cuddles was fourteen years old, a respectable age. She was as close to me as any human being I have ever known.
Cuddles and I spent many years together, both in New York, where I first found her as a little kitten on the street in Chinatown, and later on the ranch in Texas. She was always with me, on the table, on the bed, by the fireplace, beside the typewriter, on top of my suitcase when I returned from a trip.
I dug Cuddles' grave with a silver spade, in the little garden by the stream behind the old green trailer where both of us lived in the summertime. Her burial shroud was my old New York sweatshirt and in the grave with her is a can of tuna and a cigar.
A few days ago I received a sympathy note from Bill Hoegemeyer, the veterinarian. It opened with a verse by Irving Townshend: "We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle..."
Now, as I write this, on a gray winter day by the fireside, I can almost feel her light tread, moving from my head and my heart down through my fingertips to the keys of the typewriter. People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.
They say when you die and go to heaven all the dogs and cats you've ever had in your life come running to meet you.
Until that day, rest in peace, Cuddles
KINKY FRIEDMAN
FEBRUARY 5, 1993
MEDINA, TEXAS
Dear Aunt Jan, we are sorry about Mandy and we miss her a lot. We really don't know what else to say but hope that this little bit will at least be somewhat comforting for you. You both are in our thoughts.
We love you, Jami, Joey and Jaci
Jan,
I wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and Mandy girl. I am so sorry. I know that doesn't convey enough of what I am feeling but I don't really have the words...only the heartfelt tears.
Know I love you and Mandy girl too.
Robin
i was trying to remember all the things i think about when i think of Mandy - your wet carpet turned up cause she was mad at you for some reason.... her big 'ole tail always waggin and thumpin on the floor as she lay next to you.....the funny way she'd role on her back and wiggle.... she always looked like she had a smile on her face.... and, what hit me today - is that she was ALWAYS ready for a hug at Sunday afternoon Bible study. And even if she couldn't wrap her legs around me to hug me back - when I hugged her - I felt like she was hugging me right back. i will miss her....
caroline
Jan -
I was so sorry to hear about Mandy puppy. I know that you are incredibly upset and there is nothing that I can say that will make it better ... but just know that I am thinking of you. I wish I could take away the hurt ... she was such a joy and she loved you very much! If you need me or if you just want to talk - I'll be around.
I am so sorry. You and Mandy will certainly be in my prayers. I am hugging you right now!
- Julie
Hey lady,
Bren e-mailed us about Mandy. I am so sorry. You can rest assured that her last days were good ones. She looked great on Sunday and obviously wasn’t in any pain and that is a blessing. She was chipper and happy to be around everyone. You were blessed to have had her for so long.
We love you and have you in our prayers.
Diane
Jan,
I hadn't checked my email in a few days. I am soooo sorry, I really am. I lost a dog of 13years last year and there are few things more painful, I know. I read your blog, that is so sad, but so sweet and touching. My heart really really goes out to you. It really hurts me to think about this. I love dogs, and Mandy was a cutie.
I will share the following story because it meant a lot to me a couple of years ago when I heard it, and maybe it will to you too.
I was brought up believing that when animals die they just die. I don't know why people believe that, but I was always told animals don't have a soul. Then one time I was at a Baptist church and I heard a pastor tell a story of when he had comforted a little girl who had just lost her dog. She asked the pastor "Will I see my dog again when I get to heaven?" To my surprise he answered "You sure will!" I sat their thinking that it was kind that he lied to the little girl like that, but a little disturbing too, I mean we all know animals just die and there are no animals in heaven, right? The pastor went on to explain that one of the mothers in the church approached him and started griping at him asking him how he could lie to the little girl like that. He asked the woman, "Why do you think I lied to her?" The woman repeated what I had always known...animals just die and there aren't animals in heaven. The pastor replied "Oh really, can I see that bible in your hand?" The woman handed over her bible and the pastor flipped to a verse (I can't remember the exact verse now) in revelation and asked the woman to read it. When she was done the pastor asked aloud "What exactly did it say Jesus was riding on from heaven there?" "A horse", the woman replied. The pastor then asked "So, let me get this straight, you think the God who made us and loves us more than anything keeps horses in heaven, but wouldn't let us have our dogs, which he gave to us in the first place?" He went on to say "I can't prove it biblically, but it sure seems to make sense to me that that little girl is going to play with that dog again in heaven someday." I don't know if the pastor was reading too much into the horse in that verse, but I sure liked his take on the matter. I bet Mandy is playing around in your new mansion as we speak. At least I like to think so.
I hope this helps you like it did me!
Take care Jan!!
Bill
Dearest Mandy,
If only you could see now the impact on the so many lives of your mommy's friends. So many poignany blogs celebrating your life and how you touched each one of them in unique ways. If only you could see, even more incredibly, the impact you had upon your mommy. You were so much more than her pet, her companion, or her friend. You were her soulmate. You always understood her. You were always there for her when she needed you most. You brightened the bleakest days and glorified the brightest days. Consider your earthly purpose served.
Jan,
I realize nothing can be said to alleviate your pain and nothing can be done to adequately fill the void you feel. Though God has deemed it time for her to transcend her physical life and now watch you from above, you will ceaselessly mourn her absence. Mandy was/is special. In my brief acquaintance with her, I quickly noticed her inclination to monitor you from outside the gym windows, just making sure of your safety. Mandy is irreplaceable. I too mourn with you and wish you the best possible.
Jan,
The profound sense of sorrow and loss you are feeling are shared by us all. Mandy was simply, an amazing creature.
How we, at your Friday night Bible group, already miss the sweet yellow puppy. She was a reflection of our Creator on many levels.
Mandy symbolized and embodied protection, warmth, affection, presence, joy, strength, playfulness and much more.
What a joy, what a treasure to know Mandy Puppy...Preach the good news to every creature - doesn't this include Mandy! (Mark 16:15)
Love, Kraig
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